17

“Oh… I didn’t know; You got married…!”

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Have you ever experienced this, a random person who hardly knows you, even after realizing you are least interested in striking a conversation with him bombards you with questions and exclamations?
My friend and I were browsing on her computer while this guy pinged her. In fact, he let open a hurricane of laughter and fun :)

AB: Oh My God… Stigs online? Such a long time. Hello… Hi…
Stig: Didn't I block this guy on G.Chat? Hi… 
AB: I cannot tell u how happy I am seeing u online. Where r u now?
StigWhy is he so excited seeing me online? I don't even remember his face properly. I am in Chennai.
AB: Why in Chennai? Thought u were in Hyderabad.  
Stig: I might even be in Bermuda Triangle. Why should I tell him why I am in Chennai?! Just like that. After my wedding, shifted to Chennai, u see family conveniences.
AB: Oh My God… Really? How come you forgot to invite me for your wedding? Not to worry; next time when I come to Chennai, we can spend a weekend together. What is your husband doing?
Stig: Did I invite you now? He is taking bath after oil massage.
AB: Hahhahhahaa…
Stig: Why? Is oil massage so funny?
AB: I meant, where he works.
Stig: He is India Head for Deloitte Touche.
AB: Wow… Impressive! Arranged marriage?
Stig: Arranged love marriage.
AB: Getting interesting. How did it happen?
Stig: Getting interesting for me too! He was sitting next to me in the movie hall when I watched Tare Zameen Par. Seeing me cry when the boy was left in boarding school, he realized I am a very sympathetic and empathetic girl. We fell in love instantly and got married soon.
AB: How romantic. How I wish I too find a girl like u – sympathetic & empathetic! Where are you working?
Stig: I've taken a break from work.
AB: I cannot believe; a girl like u – gave up work?
Stig: In fact I love being a house wife.
AB: Oh nice. Time pass? TV?
Stig: Naah I cook! When my husband's parents visit us, it is all the more fun. My parents-in-law are very fun loving.
AB: oh ok.. That's good. When I get married, even I will ask my parents to be fun lovers.
Stig: My mother-in-law and I are more like friends. We go out shopping and all. My father- in-law is also a super cool guy.
AB: What a life dear!!! I am so J! Are they in Chennai?
Stig: They come over. They are basically from Koilandy.
AB: Oh, is it?  Wat abt ur husband?
Stig: He is working out of US actually. He is supposed to visit at least 5 continents every month. So, is kinda busy. You see, being India head is not an easy job.
AB: Ya, sad… Poor thing! I understand. Then why Chennai?
Stig: We were in New Zealand for almost 6 months. I was missing summer and the sun; hence decided to stay in Chennai for a change, till I get bored of the heat and sweat here.
AB: Oh… even I am getting bored of Bangalore. Where do I go? Any suggestions?
Stig: Please, somebody kill him!!! Why don’t you relocate to Jharkhand? Heard it is a nice place. Dhoni is from there right?
AB: hmmm. What…
Stig: Hey, I was in the middle of making almond cake in rum base for my father-in-law. Lemme continue. Bye for now.
AB: Lucky father-in-law. Wish even my dad gets a daughter-in-law like you.  
Stig: All the best.
AB: Enjoyed chatting with u. Like always very inspiring. 
Stig: Yeah, same here! Bye.
AB: Bye my lovely buddy.
Stig: Poda!

After sending him away, we switched over to Kerala Matrimony site to see if there are any nice guys out there to actually get married to! :p

P.S: Stig has been my partner in crime, since childhood.

2

Big-B’s Mantra to celebrate life!


I have a Big-B, a new found Big-B. Big-B is one of the most bubbly, coolest, liveliest and energetic guys I have ever come across in life. Oh… he is one heck of a perky guy! 24X7 laugher and fun guaranteed if you are in his company; anybody would love to have a person like him around!

This is Big B’s password to celebrate life,
“All you have is just one life; so give no room for worries, make it a celebration worth remembering tomorrow, day after …and after and always!”


My New Year wish to all my friends is just the same. Look forward to only the brighter side of life -


12 months of cheerfulness,
52 weeks of fun,
365 days success,
8,760 hours good health,
52,600 minutes good luck,
31,53,600 seconds of joy
!


A Very Happy New Year, folks!


Now, who is Big-B?
I can only give you cla-cla cli-cli clu-clues ;)

- Big-B a.k.a Big Brother lives in the US; phir bhi uska dil hai Malayalee!
- Married to a gorgeous and totally adorable lady from Karunagapally
- Cute and naughty is their son. 
- If not a manager in a reputed telecom company, he would have become a chef at either a star hotel or at Nair's-tea-kada
- A lola-hridayan (tender at heart).
- Weakness no. 1 - Food, 2 - Family, 3 - Friends.
- Big B had once taken his car for oil change; but came back home driving a new car – upgraded version of the old one!

Says it all; at least to people who know him…! Any guesses?!

15

Over-hyped raggers in soup!

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This is a story about how nine guiltless girls were once tortured in college. And me, poor me is one of them! 

Rewind - to the pages of yesterday, to the days where college life was ‘The Life’!

First year exams are over; oh… what a relief until the results are announced! Holidays are also over. Enthusiastically, all of us got back to Mysore as proud seniors! In fact, we returned to our selves when we were back in our messy hostel room – room # 11. We laughed loud at each of our vacation gossip, served with usual flavor of masalas, saut├ęd in onions and stirred with ginger garlic paste and tomato sauce!


Manu, “I think my cousin is having an affair with our neighbor’s son whose nose is kinda crooked. Before I could investigate deeper, I had to pack my bags!”
Liz, “Oh… the same guy who wears flowery lungi and plays badminton to show off?”
Teenu, “Please don’t get confused – The lungi dude is Mithu’s uncle’s family doctor’s brother’s classmate!!”
Rest of us, “:X”

…and information exchange and valid discussion continued over loads of fun and also Kannur banana chips, Wynad fruits, Calicut halwa, Coorg coffee and oh… the list is endless! Mess bell rang which reminded us that days of potato chips and rice bath are back!

As we were exploring ways to make the year more eventful, colorful and memorable than the previous year, one of us suggested this brilliant idea – why not we rag our juniors? We also believed healthy ragging will only help in making better friends with them in future like we are buddies with our seniors! Oh… we were so thrilled and impatiently waited for their arrival. With lot of commitment and involvement, we even phrased questions and rehearsed the situation. We just couldn’t wait for the anticipated fun!

On the day of formal introduction of the juniors, we cheeky bunch of morons spent few minutes more than usual in the mess hall to analyze and identify our prey. Yes… then using some strategies and formulas, we picked the unlucky of the lot – Ms. Axe!

The next day, she was invited to our colonial room (please note – only the worthy are invited otherwise!). To break the ice, we offered her some ground nuts and a glass of tea. The formal round of introduction thus began. Just to be on the safer side, Shalini became Anjali, Manju became Paaru, Nancy became Tulsy, Viji became Pinki and Chimmu became Shambu. Then, we unfolded the terror.

Okie Ms. Axe, why the hell did you decide to learn Microbiology?
My sister says I will get a job in the US or Australia if I study microbiology.
Oh… did you not know we are against brain-drain? Tomorrow, you are going to change your stream to electronics cos we are fighting against the management to close down the department.
But Chechi… my dad will disagree!
We don’t care, you are obeying us…! BTW, are you wearing a bra now?
Huh?! Yes I am..!
How many holes does it have?
Sorry… I don’t know. May be I can count and arrive at a figure by end of the day.

Huh??!! Is she not supposed to feel embarrassed and hesitate to answer, instead of being bold? We looked at each other, confused! We didn’t know how to take the session forward.

Anyways, we made her cook imaginary dosas, enact movies, multiply & divide 8 digit numbers and engage in a few more boring activities. You see – 100% healthy ragging! To our surprise, without even giving it a second thought, she obeyed all our commands. The exercise continued till we realized it is not going to get entertaining at all. Our disappointment was at its heights! We asked her to leave the room, giving heads up, “If you utter a word about this to even a single soul in Mysore, Karnataka or in India, mind you –3 years in Philos will become a nightmare for you!”

She was intelligent enough to understand that these stupid girls who considered themselves to be Gabbar Singhs were actually shit-scared Jhony Levers! She gave it back to us appropriately by complaining to our warden about how bad she was made to feel. She narrated her experience of being torn apart! (Grrr… Really???!!!!) She painted the scene like she was physically and mentally abused. Little she did know about our bloody frustration!

The following month was rather eventful for us. Warden screamed at us, “Roll your beds and get out of here! Didn’t you know you will be behind the bars if reported to the police?”

I thought, “If the press comes to take a group photograph of the “raggers”, should I be smiling at the camera, or should mine be a sad and guilty face? Only if it is a national edition, my parents and school friends will come to know about it. Ah... otherwise, it is okay!!”

Warden changed our room – each of us spent the later part of the year sharing space with Tibetians, Manipuris, Biharis and Punjabis. Can (inter)national integration get better than this? Anyways, it was not as bad as we expected. Our friendship only got better and stronger; thanks to the warden – our friends’ circle got really bigger! We developed network all over the country and even beyond!
      

A note exclusively to Ms. Axe:
(Ignore this masala-mixed blog post!) Our intent was only fun. And after these many years, on behalf of all us let me apologize, “Sorry if at all we have hurt you!”


P.S – We were the most well behaved girls that year (I swear!;) hence the next year, our fav Room # 11 was given back to us – the room where memories of friendship, exams, home sickness, hunger, nervousness, anxiety and unlimited fun is hidden, even today!


If you have any ragging stories to share, please add them in the comments section. 




Columbus: Single but not ready to mingle!

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Was Columbus married? 

Definitely not!

If he wasn’t a bachelor, like a dart board, he would have had to face these arrows in the form of questions!


-          Hey, where are you going?
-          With whom are you going?
-          Why exactly are you going?
-          On your way back can u get a packet of dosa batter?
-          When you are away, will I not get bored?
-          Okay then… Shall I also join you?
-          By the way, when will you be back? By bus or train?
-          What about dinner? Should I cook at home?
-          I want surprise gifts from where-ever!

And finally poor Columbus, “Bloody hell… I am not stepping out of the house. Enough? Happy?!”

(Disclaimer – Originally, an email forward in Malayalam)

12

Flashback - Summing up 2009

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I was trying to recall all the innovation and drama that happened at work; intension being truly professional. That is when I thought… why not I personalize the idea? The year treated me pretty well, so it totally deserves to be thought about and archived!  


....Well!

It wasn’t extra ordinarily exciting, yet has been fair to me; except when my grand dad passed away. But since I believe all nice people finally land up in heaven, I feel happy for him. Apart from that, wedding bells rang “ding ding ding”; I fulfilled my long term wish of visiting North India and the most wonderful of all – to conclude the year, in 3 days 3 newcomers arrived in the family!

So, now lemme try to break up the highlights quarter by quarter! Yeah, after all I have become a total Bangalore MNC product!!

Quarter 1:

This is how I began the year. I prayed for Obama and all the industries across the globe to beat slowdown and emerge champions. Not that I care a damn for dollar depreciation or collapsing stock market and IT industry! I discovered the correlation - until they prosper, I am not going to find the right job that would cheer me up. That is when like an angel, Madam G (she truly is!) informed me about a position at Intel. “Wow…!” I sum up all the enthusiasm I went through in the 3-letter word! My stars and luck favored, I became a part of the company. Life came back to sq 1 – No more I was cranky at home, no more I cooked breakfast and lunch, no more I was bored and no more I watched ‘desperate housewives’!

Before I joined, I visited my parents in Dubai. Oh… it was lovely to be Pappa’s and Mommy’s pet and laze around in the house being 100% irresponsible. In Dubai, I also spent time with my most adorable sister!

Quarter 2:

Bad start – My neighbors, one fine day in April, gave me a bad surprise. They decided to bid good bye to Bangalore and relocate to Aurangabad. They were one of the three families (out of 450) whom we are friends with in our apartment complex. From then on, there was nobody from whose fridge I can flick carrots & tomatoes and sip evening tea and munch Britannia biscuits over Bollywood gossip. And I also miss morning and evening dose of flying kisses and hugs from two little naughty boys.

I completed two years of togetherness with Vj. Haha, like somebody said, ‘It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life!’ But life only got better and happier in the last two years! He gifted me a zoom lens for my Canon baby! Yes, it is a big deal for me!

I made up my mind to learn swimming and driving.

Quarter 3:


A year since my uncle passed away. Realized how fast time rushes and little by little, it heals the rotten pain and even bottomless sorrow. However, somewhere deep inside, his disappearance has left a void which is everlasting.


I saw the Taj Mahal. Smile… Come on; I was at the Taj! I did not dance like the latest Bachan though! Also, explored all the neighboring states! I have already made a list of places in India which I should visit next year. Oh... I totally appreciate my keenness.

Gul-Gul returned from London and then weekends of badminton and sambar and rava idlies were restored.  Oh, how I love it when he is around! The quarter came to an end when I was no more scared of piggies and flu; I realized it is just another fever which is not a big deal! Happily, I threw away all the unused green colored masks.

Discarded the idea of learning swimming; courtesy: Bangalore weather. Driving plans are still on, however postponed to next quarter!


Quarter 4:

Hey… by the way, in the last quarter, I completed half a year at work. And I have to admit I am totally in love with it. Once again, cheers to Madam G!!

My dear most-est friend got married; however more exciting is that she shifted base to Bangalore, in my neighborhood. Well, don’t I have a reason to celebrate? I also had a quick Kerala tour with Vj and two of my friends, which was fantabulous!

To wrap up the year, 3 newcomers arrived in the family in 2 packages! - A pair of boy & girl and a boy! Oh boy… what fun!!!

BTW, driving classes are once again (for the nth time) pushed to the next year! All pot holes are being covered in the city, so it makes sense to wait until then! Did somebody comment that girls are the best at cooking excuses? ;)



Enthusiastically, looking forward to another year; hoping it will have in store, pleasant and exciting surprises for me and all my dear and near ones!

18

I'm 2 years old

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"My Mind's
D-Corner" turns 2 today! Oh, she is growing; I am so excited!!



Happie Yippe B’day, My Dear Blog! :)

(Pic clicked during the celebration this morning! :)

8

A Pink, A Blue

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Twice blessed,

To have a pair of ones!

There's two to wash,
Two to dry
Two who laugh
And two who cry!

There is two to kiss
Two to hug
And the best of all -
Two to love!

An aunt I am
Of an army of two -
A pink and a blue.
Double the bubble, double the cuddle!

Four little hands to hold on
And an abundance of smiles for a lifetime!

10

Remembrance


Tiger and I were classmates in school. From continents in the world to parts of the body to addition and subtraction – we learnt all of them together. She was in fact my first partner in crime. Also let me admit, both of us were not the celebrated students during answer-paper distribution. However we never cared! :p

I couldn’t help laughing when I saw this profile picture of Tiger on gtalk yesterday.


I pinged Tiger:


me: Who wrote your name there? :P
Tiger: where?
me: on your sh*dd*? :P
Tiger: hhheehhee. I myself!
me: Before wearing or after wearing?
Tiger: After!
me: Wow… you are such an artist. Very gifted.
Tiger: At least you realized my talent!
me: rofl..!!

…and our conversation continued.

It was after years we spoke to each other, it has been over a decade since we met! And now, what a way to break the silence :) With childhood friends, it takes nothing to bond again - a little gesture and a good laugh; that is all what it needs.

Cheers to all my friends who have made my childhood a carnival!



4

Weekend of Fun a.k.a Pictionary

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5

P as in Phoebe




Reporter: What's your name?
Pheobe: Pheobe. That's, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in Heobe, O as in Oebe, E, as in Ebe, B, as in Bebe, and E as in... Ello.

This is fun.

Reporter: What’s your name?
Sigma: Sigma. That’s, S, as in Sigma, I, as in Igma, G, as in Gigma, M, Magma, A as in Aama…!!!

Reporter: What’s your name?
Chimmu: Chimmu. That’s, C, as in Chimmu, H, as in Himmu, I, as in Immu, M, as in Mumu, M, Moomoo, U as in Uoooo…!!!

Sigma & Chimmu – Two important people in my life with entertaining names!

And wondering who Phoebe is?! Well… you haven’t given the best laugh of your life yet! I am a big, big Phoebe fan! How I wish I were a guy and Phoebe, my wife! :)

12

Virgo Lady's Self Analysis

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The sun sign specialist says this is how a Virgo Woman behaves. …and I found it almost close to precision. Here is the case study! :)

Point # 1: She can be very demanding and fussy.

Proof:

That was one heck of a Saturday morning! Every centimeter of the house was either dusted / wiped. Every misplaced thing got back to its residence – Magazines, bills, documents, CDs, first aid, cables, books, wires, board games, bags, clothes, …everything!! After hours of cleaning, I stuck post-its at every vantage point – “
Please don’t mess up” “Used socks – here” “Old Magazines – not here
Snacking not permitted” and an important message too - God loves tidy house and the house-keeper”!

That was when he rang the door-bell after his weekend dose of tennis. I ran to the door and said, “Watch your steps. Look around and tell me, howz it?”
“Huh, but I don’t see anything around!
Irritated at him not noticing the extra bit of cleanliness, I said very gravely,
“I have broken my back cleaning the house. So, I want everybody in the house to…”
“Everybody? You, Me and Mustache uncle in the opposite apartment?”
“Grrr… Okay I want 'you' to follow some simple rules”
“One by one – What is rule no. 1?”
“From today, either you stop using the electronic remotes in the house or you keep them neatly in the order of their length. See… here is where you are supposed to keep them.”
“Quite do-able and interesting… Go ahead. Rule 2?”
“Follow the Post-its and…”


I heard some “karu-muru” noise. I almost fainted seeing him eat murukku and sonpapadi, shredding it all over the vacuum-cleaned-carpet! I decided – I am gonna bury myself under the blanket, without crumbling the bedspread!

(I imagined myself in his shoes – Swear, I would have strangled me!)

Point # 2: You should feel blessed to have such a charming female who never makes your house look like a garbage dump.

Proof: Point 1 says it all…!!

Point # 3: They will demand total perfection from you.

Proof:

She was helping me make salad for dinner. I gave the instructions (like the Taj Chef!)

1. Spread a sheet of newspaper (Mind you - Not today’s)

2. Use the lemon yellow chopping board (not the dark yellow)

3. Onions should be cut nicely (should not stick to each other when dipped in curd)

4. Green chillis should be cut vertically (not in circles)

5. Carrot should be cut into small pieces (yet bigger than the chopped onion)

6. Cucumber – in cubes (minus its skin and the middle portion)

7. Should be mixed in the glass bowl (kept in the right corner shelf above the microwave)

8. Keep back the used things (where they belong to).

9. If you have spilled / dropped anything, use Collin and wipe the table NEATLY.

Point # 4: Virgo woman - she has guts and lots of them.

Proof:

On a tiring, boring and a frustrated evening, I decided to take out all my irritation on this motorcyclist who was riding on the footpath, that too on the opposite side of the road! We met face to face. Like Amrishpuri (on the bike), he stared at Anil Kapoor (that is me), a fuming pedestrian. “
When the whole of B’lore is waiting on the road, what is your special urgency? Don’t you have even the slightest common sense?”, I screamed at him.

Came the reply,
“Eanu? Nimake ean bekku? S
walpa dari bidi” (What? What do you want? Give my way!)

I could feel the fumes coming out of my ears. Two reasons – 1) I could not reply in Kannada. 2) I failed to convey the degree of my anger to him. (By any chance, did I expect him to pee in his pants?! ;)

Yet I decided to not give up. I did not move an inch.
(You know how wide footpaths in B’lore are!) He finally turned and went away saying, “Gala Bila Gala Bila Gala Gala Bila….” I assumed it to be, “Bloody female!! Hope she falls into a pit before she reaches home!” So, this time I was extra careful while stepping onto each of the concrete slab on the footpath! “Yeah, the evening is turning out to be eventful”, I told myself.

Point # 5: She cannot tolerate someone using abusive language, coming late, dressing sloppily, not minding table manners, etc.

Proof:

Of the listed, the least bearable is ‘coming late’.

I hate Indian Standard Time, where 9 a.m. is even 9 p.m. Now you know why I don’t admire Indian Railways! However, I have / had many friends, relatives, cousins, colleagues who are major fans of IST.

Point # 6: A Virgo female is a complete woman!
…whatever said and done! :)


2

Speechless!


Big Boss (BB)
Hi, Am I speaking to Suttu Cherian Chettiparambil?
He – Yes, This is Suttu. …and who is that?

BB: Hello Suttu, This is Kiran from AB&C, India. This is regarding a job opening in our company. I hope I can talk to you now.
He – I have not brushed my teeth yet; if that is not a problem for you, yes – we can speak now. Hey… Just kidding!!


BB – Looked at his watch; 10 past 10!
Oh, no problem! If you need some time to freshen up, I can call you after some time.
He No no, you please carry on. I don’t think brushing is mandatory to speak over the phone! Right?

BB –
Ya, true; but should I encourage him to continue the habit?
Ya ya, absolutely! So, Suttu I head the Architecture Team in AB&C. Our area of work is mainly validation of the….
He – Lemme just interrupt you. Why don’t you send me an email in detail? I understand, it is extremely difficult to explain details on the phone. In any case, I don’t think it matters cos AB&Z is my dream company. I have been wanting to be a part of AB&Z… I mean AB&C since I joined engineering.

BB – Puzzled. How do I react?
Excuse me…
He – Alright! Lemme be honest. My honey is coming back from home; she is in the railway station waiting for me. If you really don’t want to ruin our relationship, can we talk later? Please take down my email id.

BB –
My foot!!!
Oh sure!

He –
S as in Shit, W – Wacky, E – Ego, E – Eccentric, T – Traitor, Y – Yucky, N – Naked, S – Sexy, A – Ass, L – Liar, T - Tapeworm and Y as in Yell. And that reads sweetynsalty@ soandso.com

BB –
What the bloody hell!
Alright; Great. Thanks.

He –
It was lovely talking to you. Thanks a ton; had you not called me, I would have been in a deep, deep shit! Bye. I will surely reply to your email.

BB –
Did somebody just zip my otherwise wagging tongue?!

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