To have a pair of ones!
There's two to wash,
Two to dry
Two who laugh
And two who cry!
There is two to kiss
Two to hug
And the best of all -
Two to love!
An aunt I am
Of an army of two -
A pink and a blue.
Double the bubble, double the cuddle!
Four little hands to hold on
And an abundance of smiles for a lifetime!
Tiger and I were classmates in school. From continents in the world to parts of the body to addition and subtraction – we learnt all of them together. She was in fact my first partner in crime. Also let me admit, both of us were not the celebrated students during answer-paper distribution. However we never cared! :p
I couldn’t help laughing when I saw this profile picture of Tiger on gtalk yesterday.
I pinged Tiger:
me: Who wrote your name there? :P
me: on your sh*dd*? :P
Tiger: hhheehhee. I myself!
me: Before wearing or after wearing?
me: Wow… you are such an artist. Very gifted.
Tiger: At least you realized my talent!
…and our conversation continued.
It was after years we spoke to each other, it has been over a decade since we met! And now, what a way to break the silence :) With childhood friends, it takes nothing to bond again - a little gesture and a good laugh; that is all what it needs.
Cheers to all my friends who have made my childhood a carnival!
Pheobe: Pheobe. That's, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in Heobe, O as in Oebe, E, as in Ebe, B, as in Bebe, and E as in... Ello.
This is fun.
Reporter: What’s your name?
Sigma: Sigma. That’s, S, as in Sigma, I, as in Igma, G, as in Gigma, M, Magma, A as in Aama…!!!
Reporter: What’s your name?
Chimmu: Chimmu. That’s, C, as in Chimmu, H, as in Himmu, I, as in Immu, M, as in Mumu, M, Moomoo, U as in Uoooo…!!!
Sigma & Chimmu – Two important people in my life with entertaining names!
And wondering who Phoebe is?! Well… you haven’t given the best laugh of your life yet! I am a big, big Phoebe fan! How I wish I were a guy and Phoebe, my wife! :)
The sun sign specialist says this is how a Virgo Woman behaves. …and I found it almost close to precision. Here is the case study! :)
Point # 1: She can be very demanding and fussy.
That was one heck of a Saturday morning! Every centimeter of the house was either dusted / wiped. Every misplaced thing got back to its residence – Magazines, bills, documents, CDs, first aid, cables, books, wires, board games, bags, clothes, …everything!! After hours of cleaning, I stuck post-its at every vantage point – “Please don’t mess up” “Used socks – here” “Old Magazines – not here” “Snacking not permitted” and an important message too - “God loves tidy house and the house-keeper”!
That was when he rang the door-bell after his weekend dose of tennis. I ran to the door and said, “Watch your steps. Look around and tell me, howz it?”
“Huh, but I don’t see anything around!”
Irritated at him not noticing the extra bit of cleanliness, I said very gravely, “I have broken my back cleaning the house. So, I want everybody in the house to…”
“Everybody? You, Me and Mustache uncle in the opposite apartment?”
“Grrr… Okay I want 'you' to follow some simple rules”
“One by one – What is rule no. 1?”
“From today, either you stop using the electronic remotes in the house or you keep them neatly in the order of their length. See… here is where you are supposed to keep them.”
“Quite do-able and interesting… Go ahead. Rule 2?”
“Follow the Post-its and…”
I heard some “karu-muru” noise. I almost fainted seeing him eat murukku and sonpapadi, shredding it all over the vacuum-cleaned-carpet! I decided – I am gonna bury myself under the blanket, without crumbling the bedspread!
(I imagined myself in his shoes – Swear, I would have strangled me!)
Point # 2: You should feel blessed to have such a charming female who never makes your house look like a garbage dump.
Proof: Point 1 says it all…!!
Point # 3: They will demand total perfection from you.
She was helping me make salad for dinner. I gave the instructions (like the Taj Chef!)
1. Spread a sheet of newspaper (Mind you - Not today’s)
2. Use the lemon yellow chopping board (not the dark yellow)
3. Onions should be cut nicely (should not stick to each other when dipped in curd)
4. Green chillis should be cut vertically (not in circles)
5. Carrot should be cut into small pieces (yet bigger than the chopped onion)
6. Cucumber – in cubes (minus its skin and the middle portion)
7. Should be mixed in the glass bowl (kept in the right corner shelf above the microwave)
8. Keep back the used things (where they belong to).
9. If you have spilled / dropped anything, use Collin and wipe the table NEATLY.
Point # 4: Virgo woman - she has guts and lots of them.
On a tiring, boring and a frustrated evening, I decided to take out all my irritation on this motorcyclist who was riding on the footpath, that too on the opposite side of the road! We met face to face. Like Amrishpuri (on the bike), he stared at Anil Kapoor (that is me), a fuming pedestrian. “When the whole of B’lore is waiting on the road, what is your special urgency? Don’t you have even the slightest common sense?”, I screamed at him.
Came the reply, “Eanu? Nimake ean bekku? Swalpa dari bidi” (What? What do you want? Give my way!)
I could feel the fumes coming out of my ears. Two reasons – 1) I could not reply in Kannada. 2) I failed to convey the degree of my anger to him. (By any chance, did I expect him to pee in his pants?! ;)
Yet I decided to not give up. I did not move an inch. (You know how wide footpaths in B’lore are!) He finally turned and went away saying, “Gala Bila Gala Bila Gala Gala Bila….” I assumed it to be, “Bloody female!! Hope she falls into a pit before she reaches home!” So, this time I was extra careful while stepping onto each of the concrete slab on the footpath! “Yeah, the evening is turning out to be eventful”, I told myself.
Of the listed, the least bearable is ‘coming late’.
I hate Indian Standard Time, where 9 a.m. is even 9 p.m. Now you know why I don’t admire Indian Railways! However, I have / had many friends, relatives, cousins, colleagues who are major fans of IST.
…whatever said and done! :)
Big Boss (BB) – Hi, Am I speaking to Suttu Cherian Chettiparambil?
He – Yes, This is Suttu. …and who is that?
BB: Hello Suttu, This is Kiran from AB&C, India. This is regarding a job opening in our company. I hope I can talk to you now.
He – I have not brushed my teeth yet; if that is not a problem for you, yes – we can speak now. Hey… Just kidding!!
BB – Looked at his watch; 10 past 10!
Oh, no problem! If you need some time to freshen up, I can call you after some time.
He – No no, you please carry on. I don’t think brushing is mandatory to speak over the phone! Right?
BB – Ya, true; but should I encourage him to continue the habit?
Ya ya, absolutely! So, Suttu I head the Architecture Team in AB&C. Our area of work is mainly validation of the….
He – Lemme just interrupt you. Why don’t you send me an email in detail? I understand, it is extremely difficult to explain details on the phone. In any case, I don’t think it matters cos AB&Z is my dream company. I have been wanting to be a part of AB&Z… I mean AB&C since I joined engineering.
BB – Puzzled. How do I react?
He – Alright! Lemme be honest. My honey is coming back from home; she is in the railway station waiting for me. If you really don’t want to ruin our relationship, can we talk later? Please take down my email id.
BB – My foot!!!
He – S as in Shit, W – Wacky, E – Ego, E – Eccentric, T – Traitor, Y – Yucky, N – Naked, S – Sexy, A – Ass, L – Liar, T - Tapeworm and Y as in Yell. And that reads sweetynsalty@ soandso.com
BB – What the bloody hell!
Alright; Great. Thanks.
He – It was lovely talking to you. Thanks a ton; had you not called me, I would have been in a deep, deep shit! Bye. I will surely reply to your email.
BB – Did somebody just zip my otherwise wagging tongue?!