Monday, November 23, 2009

Remembrance

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Tiger and I were classmates for almost ten years. From word formation to sentence construction to passage reading – we learnt all our initial lessons together! She was in fact my first partner in crime in school. I have to admit, both of us were not major high-fliers during answer-paper distribution seasons. …and we never cared!

I couldn’t help laughing when I saw this profile picture of Tiger on gtalk.


I pinged Tiger:

me
: Who wrote your name there? :P
Tiger: where?
me: on your sh*dd*? :P
Tiger: hhheehhee. I myself!
me: Before wearing or after wearing?
Tiger: After!
me: Wow… you are artistically so gifted.
Tiger: At least my buddy realized my talent!
me: rofl..!!

…and our conversation continued.

That is when we realized it was after years we spoke to each other, and it is been over a decade since we met! …and what a way to break the silence! When in the company of childhood friends, it just takes nothing to feel the old bond back - a little gesture and a good laugh; that is all what it needs.

Cheers to all my friends who have made my childhood a carnival!

“I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
Cos you're there for me too”

-f.r.i.e.n.d.s Theme Song

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Weekend of Fun a.k.a Pictionary

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

P as in Phoebe

Reporter: What's your name?
Pheobe: Pheobe. That's, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in Heobe, O as in Oebe, E, as in Ebe, B, as in Bebe, and E as in... Ello.

This is fun.

Reporter: What’s your name?
Sigma: Sigma. That’s, S, as in Sigma, I, as in Igma, G, as in Gigma, M, Magma, A as in Aama…!!!

Reporter: What’s your name?
Chimmu: Chimmu. That’s, C, as in Chimmu, H, as in Himmu, I, as in Immu, M, as in Mumu, M, Moomoo, U as in Uoooo…!!!


Sigma & Chimmu – Two important people in my life with entertaining names!

And wondering who Phoebe is?! Well… you haven’t given the best laugh of your life yet! I am a big, big Phoebe fan! How I wish I were a guy and Phoebe, my wife! :)


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Virgo Lady's Self Analysis

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The sun sign specialist says this is how a Virgo Woman behaves. …and I found it almost close to precision. Here is the case study! :)

Point # 1: She can be very demanding and fussy.

Proof:

That was one heck of a Saturday morning! Every centimeter of the house was either dusted / wiped. Every misplaced thing got back to its residence – Magazines, bills, documents, CDs, first aid, cables, books, wires, board games, bags, clothes, …everything!! After hours of cleaning, I stuck post-its at every vantage point – “
Please don’t mess up” “Used socks – here” “Old Magazines – not here
Snacking not permitted” and an important message too - God loves tidy house and the house-keeper”!

That was when he rang the door-bell after his weekend dose of tennis. I ran to the door and said, “Watch your steps. Look around and tell me, howz it?”
“Huh, but I don’t see anything around!
Irritated at him not noticing the extra bit of cleanliness, I said very gravely,
“I have broken my back cleaning the house. So, I want everybody in the house to…”
“Everybody? You, Me and Mustache uncle in the opposite apartment?”
“Grrr… Okay I want 'you' to follow some simple rules”
“One by one – What is rule no. 1?”
“From today, either you stop using the electronic remotes in the house or you keep them neatly in the order of their length. See… here is where you are supposed to keep them.”
“Quite do-able and interesting… Go ahead. Rule 2?”
“Follow the Post-its and…”


I heard some “karu-muru” noise. I almost fainted seeing him eat murukku and sonpapadi, shredding it all over the vacuum-cleaned-carpet! I decided – I am gonna bury myself under the blanket, without crumbling the bedspread!

(I imagined myself in his shoes – Swear, I would have strangled me!)

Point # 2: You should feel blessed to have such a charming female who never makes your house look like a garbage dump.

Proof: Point 1 says it all…!!

Point # 3: They will demand total perfection from you.

Proof:

She was helping me make salad for dinner. I gave the instructions (like the Taj Chef!)

1. Spread a sheet of newspaper (Mind you - Not today’s)

2. Use the lemon yellow chopping board (not the dark yellow)

3. Onions should be cut nicely (should not stick to each other when dipped in curd)

4. Green chillis should be cut vertically (not in circles)

5. Carrot should be cut into small pieces (yet bigger than the chopped onion)

6. Cucumber – in cubes (minus its skin and the middle portion)

7. Should be mixed in the glass bowl (kept in the right corner shelf above the microwave)

8. Keep back the used things (where they belong to).

9. If you have spilled / dropped anything, use Collin and wipe the table NEATLY.

Point # 4: Virgo woman - she has guts and lots of them.

Proof:

On a tiring, boring and a frustrated evening, I decided to take out all my irritation on this motorcyclist who was riding on the footpath, that too on the opposite side of the road! We met face to face. Like Amrishpuri (on the bike), he stared at Anil Kapoor (that is me), a fuming pedestrian. “
When the whole of B’lore is waiting on the road, what is your special urgency? Don’t you have even the slightest common sense?”, I screamed at him.

Came the reply,
“Eanu? Nimake ean bekku? S
walpa dari bidi” (What? What do you want? Give my way!)

I could feel the fumes coming out of my ears. Two reasons – 1) I could not reply in Kannada. 2) I failed to convey the degree of my anger to him. (By any chance, did I expect him to pee in his pants?! ;)

Yet I decided to not give up. I did not move an inch.
(You know how wide footpaths in B’lore are!) He finally turned and went away saying, “Gala Bila Gala Bila Gala Gala Bila….” I assumed it to be, “Bloody female!! Hope she falls into a pit before she reaches home!” So, this time I was extra careful while stepping onto each of the concrete slab on the footpath! “Yeah, the evening is turning out to be eventful”, I told myself.

Point # 5: She cannot tolerate someone using abusive language, coming late, dressing sloppily, not minding table manners, etc.

Proof:

Of the listed, the least bearable is ‘coming late’.

I hate Indian Standard Time, where 9 a.m. is even 9 p.m. Now you know why I don’t admire Indian Railways! However, I have / had many friends, relatives, cousins, colleagues who are major fans of IST.

Point # 6: A Virgo female is a complete woman!
…whatever said and done! :)


Sunday, November 1, 2009

Speechless!


Big Boss (BB)
Hi, Am I speaking to Suttu Cherian Chettiparambil?
He – Yes, This is Suttu. …and who is that?

BB: Hello Suttu, This is Kiran from AB&C, India. This is regarding a job opening in our company. I hope I can talk to you now.
He – I have not brushed my teeth yet; if that is not a problem for you, yes – we can speak now. Hey… Just kidding!!


BB – Looked at his watch; 10 past 10!
Oh, no problem! If you need some time to freshen up, I can call you after some time.
He No no, you please carry on. I don’t think brushing is mandatory to speak over the phone! Right?

BB –
Ya, true; but should I encourage him to continue the habit?
Ya ya, absolutely! So, Suttu I head the Architecture Team in AB&C. Our area of work is mainly validation of the….
He – Lemme just interrupt you. Why don’t you send me an email in detail? I understand, it is extremely difficult to explain details on the phone. In any case, I don’t think it matters cos AB&Z is my dream company. I have been wanting to be a part of AB&Z… I mean AB&C since I joined engineering.

BB – Puzzled. How do I react?
Excuse me…
He – Alright! Lemme be honest. My honey is coming back from home; she is in the railway station waiting for me. If you really don’t want to ruin our relationship, can we talk later? Please take down my email id.

BB –
My foot!!!
Oh sure!

He –
S as in Shit, W – Wacky, E – Ego, E – Eccentric, T – Traitor, Y – Yucky, N – Naked, S – Sexy, A – Ass, L – Liar, T - Tapeworm and Y as in Yell. And that reads sweetynsalty@ soandso.com

BB –
What the bloody hell!
Alright; Great. Thanks.

He –
It was lovely talking to you. Thanks a ton; had you not called me, I would have been in a deep, deep shit! Bye. I will surely reply to your email.

BB –
Did somebody just zip my otherwise wagging tongue?!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Recipe for a change


Have u ever wondered how nonsensically boredom creeps into your day?

I realized it a while ago, when I was typing a mail to one of my colleagues. With a wrinkled face, I looked at the monitor thinking, “What a dull email… The same Verdana and the same boring blue font!” The next five minutes, I spent in making favorable edits to the default settings.

From this,

“Hi,
We are looking at publishing the article today”.

…I changed to:

“Hi,
We are looking at publishing the article today”.


Wow… Interesting! This is like Napoleon, the French emperor sending a quick one liner to Alexander the Great!

….in a while I get a new email:

“Hey,
Please check your settings. Your email appeared to me in some weird font. Guess you are not aware!”


When I learnt nobody lives up to the standard of Alexander here, I went back to sq 1…


“Hi,
I repeat: We are looking at publishing the article today.”

Wow… I love the color; wish I had a laced top in this shade of blue, which I can wear with the skirt I bought during last xmas!!! ;)

Virtual Buddy, Tata…!!!

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These days, I hear more of goodbyes and relocations! My virtual fun partner at Intel, who is one of the most humorous girls I have met in Bangalore, is bidding good bye in another 14 days. Oh Sweetie, I am gonna miss you …terribly! :(

There is no specific time or pattern to how we buzz each other on IM, the internal messenger. …n we need not have a reason too!

When I have something urgent to finish by 2:00 p.m I ping her at 1:30. And this is how our conversation goes.

Me:
Work v/s Laziness; whom do you think will win?!
Nacha: Hard question! Right now, I have team lead + mentor + V in a meeting, while B is on the phone. So, please decide for me.
Me: I see chances for laziness cos boredom supports it big time. But no other go; u have to see that work wins! Hence, I say, bye bye!
Nacha: Ya, bye-bye takes upper hand!

At times, out of the blue;

Nacha:
Hey, guess what? I feel like a potato!
Me: Really? That is such a wonderful feeling!

She left me thinking, “How is it to feel like a potato – peeled off? Buried in the ground? Or brown
in color?”

Once after a meeting with one of her colleagues, she was in a mood to advice me.

Nacha:
Process. There must be a process for everything. You see, only then you will become a heroine here!
Me: Oh really? But, I am taught more important is to grab every opportunity that comes your way!
Nacha: Well… we ‘quarkers’ believe in processing!
Me: Communicators believe otherwise! ;)

The messenger beeped again on my screen:

Nacha:
Go back to your grave, O my Dream, under forests of snow,
Where a heart-riven child hid you once, seven eons ago
Who bade you arise from your darkness? I bid you depart!
Profane not the shrines I have raised in the clefts of my heart."

Disclaimer: Will dare disturb u again if I have anything else worthy!

One of these days, lady had a review with her prof.

8:34 a.m.
Nacha: Guess who has her review today?


10:37 a.m.
Nacha‎‎: Guess who blabbered nonstop for the first 5 minutes of her review then went on a word spree at a speed of 100 words per minute for the rest of her review?

Next Day:
Me: Grape wine says somebody's review went exceptionally well and excellent remarks were given to somebody!
Nacha: REALLY??? How I love the grape wine! ;)

Once in a while, she also reminds me,

Nacha: I have been working so hard, really hard. If you didn’t know, that is even though my manager and team lead are missing!
Me: Yeah, I trust you. I swear!

One day, this is how she greeted me to a new day at work.

Nacha:
Conversing with an Aquarian female is usually a delight because of her charming manners. So, for your joy - Good Morning!
Me: Ahem Ahem! The Virgo Lady a.k.a Perfect Woman says “Thank You, Same to You!”
‎‎Nacha: Well, we are wonderfully humble!

In the last 6 months, we have had umpteen such conversations and I enjoyed every bit of it.

Even this morning…

Buddy, I am gonna miss you a lot. Wishing you the very best in life! :) :)


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