29

Pink-tronics


I heard my neighbor’s kid, a Class 4 boy making fun of his grand dad, “Have you gone nuts?! How could you even think of getting this pink shirt for me? Do you think I am a gay?”
And grandpa lovingly, Beta… But, what is wrong? This will suit you very well”
Boy at his disappointed grandpa, “Dada… For your kind information, boys wear pink only if they are gays and at least till now, I am not one!”
Surprisingly and innocently, Dada, “My Lord Balaji...!! Even you know what it means?!”  
He continues like a master,
“Dadaji… I know everything!
J If I wear pink, girls will think I am not interested in them! Why unnecessary confusions!?”
Dada rolling his eyes and raising his hand at the kid,
“I will crack your butt if you talk this way!”
Brat with a chuckle,
“Hahaha… Didn’t you know, like everybody I am already born with a cracked butt! And so, you need not take pains to do that again! ;)
Poor Dadaji,
“Hare Rama… Hare Krishna”
Boy,
“Yes… that is better for you!”

My Dear Friends, Any comments?! 
After all, Aapka number bhi ayega - In less or more than three decades! J

Just a pinch of lal-mirchi added; otherwise the flavor is original! 


22

IPL Season 4


April has been an exciting and indeed a happening month! Sania Mirza wore her mom’s 25 years old saree and got married to Shoaib Malik. Before the media cameras could peep into her bedroom, the off-field cricketing war began. Thank God… the newly-wed couple thus got spared!

The spot lights shifted to Tharoor! Poor thing took a long time to realize that it is a crime in India to be outspoken, tweet, win respect of the people or even support an IPL bid! Anyways, to spice up the front pages and editorials of newspapers, the Twenty-Twenty hi-masala game is on…! But, will “Team Cochin Coconuts” ever become a reality?! ...that is my worry! ;)

The IPL controversy has heated up so much that volcanoes even in Iceland started erupting!
To evade any further natural calamities, the hero of all times, Lalu Darlu came up with the best solution - nationalize IPL! Tang-Ta-Taaaang!

Oh My God… If Lalu’s dream comes true, can you imagine the state of IPL Season Four?

The members will be summoned to the parliament to discuss IPL. Day 1 – Opposition will walk out. Day 2 – Ruling Party will create a chaos. Day 3 – Somehow they will manage to talk for some time.

Anticipated Highlights:

Lalu will want a team from Bihar, Mamta Banejee will replace Lalit Modi by a Dalit Modi and there will be reservation in every team based on caste and annual income of the players. You think only Dhoni and Yuvraj should make crores?! After all we are a democracy! Karunanidhi will declare Rajni Kanth to be the Super-Star of the Super-Kings, Jayalalitha will deny entry to Sri Lankan players, ministers who speak for Pakistani players will be made to resign, commentaries will be in Tamil, Kannada, Hindi, Bengali, Punjabi and Marati. So poor Ravi Shastri and Harsha Bhogle will lose their jobs! I think Sidhu will somehow manage! Cheer leaders will perform Bhartnatyam, Kathak, Odissi, Mohiniyattam… depending on their home team. Instead of zoo-zoo and youngistan ads, we will see more of family planning campaigns. While zapping channels, didn't you stumble upon Doordarshan ads? Sonia Gandhi will fight to make Rahul Gandhi the IPL Commissioner and all her chamchas in the party will happily agree to that! Who will not want to get into her good books?! The tickets will be available only at government offices and for sure, we poor cricket lovers will be forced to bribe the silly officers! Oh, what a fate!


That is when this bunch of morons will realize that most of them are totally ignorant about the game except that they can recognize a bat, ball and the stumps! …And for a politician especially, 70 years is not when they can learn something new! So, finally they unanimously will come to a conclusion - instead of T-20 Cricket, from 2011, India will stage T-20 Kabbadi!


This cricketing season – What do you have a say?


23

Vishu Greetings and Love to All!!






Let us banish our worries and start afresh!
Wishing all… a plentiful year of joy, satisfaction, peace and prosperity J


23

100th Post :)


What would have Tendu Bhayya felt when he hit his first century?
Exactly what I am feeling now!

How would have Tendu Bhayya celebrated?
By splashing champagne ...at Taj or Oberoi!

But, why am I glad today?
Because guys… this is my 100th blog postJ



And how did I celebrate?
This way… absolutely traditional!


Does it look inviting? J

23

Hunger Strike


“Grrr… today too, the same old brinjal curry?”
“No; it is smashed potato …errr I think!”
“Perhaps you should swim in it to find at least a bit of a potato!”

If you were (are) a hostel being, umpteen number of times, you would have had the above conversation with your friends! The best days of my college life were supplemented by the most atrocious food ever!  Memories of the infamous dining hall bring nightmares to me even today! There were days when I was served leftover rice, sour curd and potato chips for dinner! ...and all I could do then was to weep, thinking of mom-cooked food! 

Once, when we felt that the quality of food was deteriorating from bad to worse, we decided to protest! Few of our Tibetian friends suggested that we will go on hunger strike. Yes… not a bad idea, I felt. After all, it was about skipping just one dinner …and for a good cause! I thought, “Before getting back to the hostel in the evening, I shall refill my stomach from college canteen so that it will not wail in the middle of the night!”

Few of us, the most concerned citizens of the hostel thought, discussed, ideated, planned and finally chose the next Saturday to be the “Go-Hungry Day!” Why Saturday?? …because it was on Saturdays that we get the so-called chapattis which were more like flying discs! We could actually play Frisbee with them! Not at all an exaggeration!!

My most enthusiastic Tibetian friends went from room to room campaigning against bad food, thus promoting the protest! Felt really proud to have extremely powerful influencers amongst us! Who knows... in future we might see them stay hungry for farmers in Andra Pradesh or for students in North East! J

However, to our utmost shock, we were welcomed to the mess hall on Saturday evening by the aroma of masala-dosa and variety chutneys! None of us could believe our eyes nor nose! 
"Huh?! Bloody spies inside the hostel to ruin our plan??!" Look at how we poor souls were being bribed! But to be very frank, those dosas were just too inviting! At the end of the day, we all are just emotional and expressive human beings! ;)  

Yet, we decided to be very firm and tried hard to not get carried away by any of these cheap tricks! But, even before we could make our point clear, the warden announced, “Special masala-dosas are being served in the mess today. Mind you - this is just a onetime affair!”

These bloody people exactly know what our weaknesses are! And see… how they have dealt with it, tactfully! As I didn’t want to be a traitor, I went back to my room, fearing I might fall for the dosas! That is when I noticed post-its stuck on all the doors, which said, “Girls, due to some unexplainable reasons, the Hunger Strike Committee has decided to postpone the strike to next week. Will keep you updated. Please enjoy the dosas in the kitchen and Thanks a lot for your co-operation!” 

Wow..!! It was such a great relief to see that! My taste buds made my legs run to pass on the news to everybody! And in half an hour, the dosas were emptied by the ravenous tummies in-house.

At late in the night, I heard ‘this’ girl speaking on her mobile, “…and I couldn’t resist. I thought this was the smartest thing I could do! Believe me; had loads of fun. Anyways, the idiotic girls in the hostel are blaming those poor innocent Tibetians …that too after gobbling down all the dosas! They should in fact thank me for everything! Ha haa haha…!!!”

A note to ‘this’ girl: Thank You! Yes, the dosas were indeed yummy! But, probably you don't know that amongst the spies, also live detectives!! 

Past/Current hostel dwellers: Do you have any memories to share about your hostel food, hostel life and the pranks you enjoyed?

17

Meet a 'Total Malayalee'


The rebirth of Christ was celebrated in style. In spite of having ‘white’ cheerleaders to shake their hips and Bollywood girls to dance, IPL couldn’t make as much profit as the beverages department in Kerala made on Easter. 

Anyways, Easter gala is over; and it is ‘back to business’ time. One of my friends pinged me this morning.

Sj: Hello… Wassup?
Me: Wow! You alive? Thought you were somewhere in the border firing our enemies!
Sj: Just back after an alcoholic Easter.
Me: Good for you!
Sj: Nope! Bad for me… my mom found out that I drink and she decided to disown me!
L
Me: Didn’t you know that there is an expiry date for secrets? You have been hiding this from her for so long! By the way, how did she find out?
Sj When she served dinner, I said “Darling… after our wedding, we will follow a time table to divide the culinary work at home! Your cute little palms should remain soft forever!! Blah blah blah…” All I remember now is my mom's red rolling eyes!
Me: Lovely… so, now she knows about your girl friend too!
Sj: Bloody idiot… pacify me! Are you not my friend? Anyways I am going for a movie now!
Me: Huh, now?? I thought you were at work.
Sj: I have called for a hartal
Me:  What??! Strike in Bangalore?
Sj: So what? After all, we are Malayalees! We have the right to protest anywhere …even against NASA! Perhaps they are not aware… we Mallus have got the inherent skills to make a functioning thing dysfunctional!
Me: Who? You mean NASA is not aware?! I thought this protest is this against your mom.

Sj: Shut Up! Got my appraisal letter this morning. With the hike I am given, all what I can do is buy a mutton biriyani and a lime soda! …that too, only if Labeeb Chettan remains kind enough to not hike the biriyani prices! Hence this is how I have decided to convey my displeasure to my boss!
Me: You are “The Malayalee of the Year”! Great going, my dear friend!
J


31

Tata to B’lore!


This week has been very amusing. Guess what guys? I am moving out of Bangalore! I am so much in love with this city and so, it is really hard to think of moving out even though it is only for few months.  

I will be posted in Lahore to learn communication practices in Pakistan. It was definitely a difficult decision to make as this was not forced on me. But considering the professional benefits, I fell for it and said yes to the offer.

I will be staying next to Khalid Hosseini’s aunt’s house in Lahore. Apparently, Khalid is now in Lahore to write his third book. By the time he finishes his work, I am sure we will make good friends and all of you will get to see my name in the Acknowledgment Page, “ A hundred thanks to my dearest friend Shalini, who has been the motivation to write this novel. I am sad that I didn’t know her before” And you readers can console him, "So what Khalid, Better late than never."

Oh, such exciting days ahead, I just can't wait! I've already packed my bags; Pakistan...here I come :) And my dear friends, see you on the 'acknowledgment page'!   

By the way, today being April 1, Happy Birthday to all of you born on this day J
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