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IPL Season 4


April has been an exciting and indeed a happening month! Sania Mirza wore her mom’s 25 years old saree and got married to Shoaib Malik. Before the media cameras could peep into her bedroom, the off-field cricketing war began. Thank God… the newly-wed couple thus got spared!

The spot lights shifted to Tharoor! Poor thing took a long time to realize that it is a crime in India to be outspoken, tweet, win respect of the people or even support an IPL bid! Anyways, to spice up the front pages and editorials of newspapers, the Twenty-Twenty hi-masala game is on…! But, will “Team Cochin Coconuts” ever become a reality?! ...that is my worry! ;)

The IPL controversy has heated up so much that volcanoes even in Iceland started erupting!
To evade any further natural calamities, the hero of all times, Lalu Darlu came up with the best solution - nationalize IPL! Tang-Ta-Taaaang!

Oh My God… If Lalu’s dream comes true, can you imagine the state of IPL Season Four?

The members will be summoned to the parliament to discuss IPL. Day 1 – Opposition will walk out. Day 2 – Ruling Party will create a chaos. Day 3 – Somehow they will manage to talk for some time.

Anticipated Highlights:

Lalu will want a team from Bihar, Mamta Banejee will replace Lalit Modi by a Dalit Modi and there will be reservation in every team based on caste and annual income of the players. You think only Dhoni and Yuvraj should make crores?! After all we are a democracy! Karunanidhi will declare Rajni Kanth to be the Super-Star of the Super-Kings, Jayalalitha will deny entry to Sri Lankan players, ministers who speak for Pakistani players will be made to resign, commentaries will be in Tamil, Kannada, Hindi, Bengali, Punjabi and Marati. So poor Ravi Shastri and Harsha Bhogle will lose their jobs! I think Sidhu will somehow manage! Cheer leaders will perform Bhartnatyam, Kathak, Odissi, Mohiniyattam… depending on their home team. Instead of zoo-zoo and youngistan ads, we will see more of family planning campaigns. While zapping channels, didn't you stumble upon Doordarshan ads? Sonia Gandhi will fight to make Rahul Gandhi the IPL Commissioner and all her chamchas in the party will happily agree to that! Who will not want to get into her good books?! The tickets will be available only at government offices and for sure, we poor cricket lovers will be forced to bribe the silly officers! Oh, what a fate!


That is when this bunch of morons will realize that most of them are totally ignorant about the game except that they can recognize a bat, ball and the stumps! …And for a politician especially, 70 years is not when they can learn something new! So, finally they unanimously will come to a conclusion - instead of T-20 Cricket, from 2011, India will stage T-20 Kabbadi!


This cricketing season – What do you have a say?


22 comments:

Jackson said...

i think you forgot that the players and umpires will have to write the PSC exam for selection.. and wait three years for the results..

and instead of shouting 'OUT!' every time a wicket falls, an application form will have to be filled out in triplicate and submitted to the match referee, who will be a gazetted officer..

and don't forget the tea breaks every two overs..

'over' aayi, alle? :-}

Haree said...

:-)
--

lizz said...

this was very cool posting..... u rock.....

$$ said...

@ Jackson - Thanks for adding them, which I missed out! BTW... I am a big fan of exaggeration! So, over aayalum, that is fine! :)

@ Haree - A hundred watt smile at u too!

@ Lizz - Thank u loose! :)

sajinrp said...

Excellent post, food for thought...
Politicians involvement in anything and everything really makes things messy....Poor Tharoor, the diplomat-turned-politician is one of the victims of Indian Political League !
Hope he will make a come-back soon !!

Bullshee said...

Your posts are getting better!

Nationalizing the IPL! Only Lalu can think that's a good idea. But amazing how in three years, the event became so ingrained in Indian social life, that politicians stand up and take such interest in it!

Nona said...

This cricketing season or an April whirlwind? So many things happening this month!

lostworld said...

You know Shalini, T-20 Kabbadi might actually be a good idea. Our poor neglected national sport does badly need some publicity.

Very cute post. I enjoyed reading.

ANAND CHANDRASEKHARAN said...

hahahahahahah!!

brilliant post.........kya soch hai...!dea!!@#

you kno...at the end of it Lalit Modi is gonna keep 'is post ....as he's got really hot things up his throat.........1ce they cum out,it'll b 2 much 4 our wise men to digest........

Rohan said...

It happens only in India!! I love my country!! :-D

Sourcebound said...

A nation which likes to get drunk for celebration and sadness just got one more addition to get stoned.

anishthomas said...

Believe it or not,I was about to write about similar topic( even wrote a paragraph and kept it in draft after i read yours)

ministers who speak for Pakistani players will be made to resign, commentaries will be in Tamil, Kanna that was a killer one...
anyways i'm waiting for more fun like lady umpires with micro mini skirts,Hit the DLF Baloon and get 10 runs and all.
anyways hilarious post...keep em cming

$$ said...

@ sajinrp - Thanks buddy! ..n yeah, hope he comes back with more vigor and energy!

@ Bullshee - Thank You! ..yes i totally agree - watching IPL has become like watching a movie! It has in fact transformed cricket watching experience!

@ Nona - Indeed an eventful April

@ lostworld - Thank You! They will not think of even a local kabbadi match, forget abt 20-K ;) There is no option to loot or to make crores!

$$ said...

@ ANAND - Dank U! :)The climax is awaited.. lets watch!

@ Rohan - there are worser places on earth! ;) ;)

@ Sourcebound - Hahha, do they need an occasion, even for name sake?! ;)

@ anishthomas - Thanks a lot! ..why don't u finish and publish that? Looking forward to ur version as well!

Deepak said...

Hey.. I had saved your blog address, and it was lying in one corner of my bookmarks for some time...

Anyway, I can't remember how I got here in the first place..
But I gotta say, this post really cracked me up. There was the rare instance of me actually laughing out loud without writing its acronym (It's the other way around, usually)
And I have a huge respect for funny people... they are creative.

So you are now officially on my blogroll and Google Reader. You can be proud.. :P

$$ said...

Hey Deepak,

Indeed I am so proud and you have flattered me big time! Thanks a ton for the lovely comment :) And I don't mind you continuing the habit... :P :P

jagdish said...

Shalu - You really have a very different style of writing please do write always and I am sure you will be one of the best writers. Try to build up a short book - If Arundat Roy could get a bookers - why not Shalu try
All the best from Jaggu uncle.

Thanks for the help - Blog

Deepak said...

I found out how your blog link ended up in my bookmarks.. You had commented in my blog some time back, that's how! :P

BTW, are you an NITCian by any chance? I see some familiar faces here...

$$ said...

@ Jaggu Uncle - Thanks a ta-ta-ta-tonnn!!! :) ...n looking forward to ur blog posts!

@ Deepak - Nope, I am not an NITCian.

Tan said...

I was laughing my heart out while reading this post!!!

You have a very good style of presenting humour :) :D :D... Keep rocking Shalu!!!

Aishwarya V said...

Ultimate post!

$$ said...

@ Tan - U made me smile wideeee...!!! Thanks a lot! :)

@ Aishwarya V - Thanks dear!! :)

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