Wake me up into reality!

I woke up at 7 one fine morning, to find Vj still sleeping
(what is new, huh?!) like a cute little kitten. I pushed him out of the bed, reminding (..no; encouraging) him to go for his usual morning walk.

I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, wore my specs, banged the door and strolled into the living room.

“Good Morning”
, I greeted my son who was reading the newspaper. It only meant he should just get lost leaving the newspaper with me!!! …n poor thing; he did that! Mean while I turned around, to check if someone is bringing for me a cup of hot coffee. My grand daughter, as usual was blasting new age music in the house, which I hate to the core. To my ears, it sounds like an ignorant French guy arguing with a Chinese idiot. ;) I pleaded (cos I know only that would work with these smart asses!!), “Babe.. Could you please turn that off and play my collection of better songs?” She screeched back, “Daadi loves only A.R. Rahman and over acting King Khan. Oh My God.. I wonder how you guys tolerated them in theatres once up on a time!” 

I did not like that even a bit.. I slapped back, “Any day, my Khan is better than your eunuchs, whom I see on TV everyday. Do you know.. In our house in Kerala, we used to have a video cassette of Baazigar, which I watched…”

Daaaadi..”, she shouted, “Early in the morning, I am not at all interested in listening to stories from your history book. I know… there you had lot of coconut trees and you have watched Baazigar with your brother 50 times and Om Shanti Om with Daadu 25 times. Okay..?? Happy?? Now, will you leave me alone?” 

Though maddened like madness, I tried to be sweet with her. Once again, I asked her genially,
“Sweety (in my mind – you little rascal..!!), now.. please get my tea.” 

This was how I started the day; later part of the day was also eventful – I
spilled everything on the floor; my daughter screamed at me for not making my bed; I yelled at her for misplacing my balm and medicines; as usual, I dropped porcelain plates and cups on the floor, and when questioned, I shouted at my children, "I'm giving you a reminder of your childhood. You were even more disastrous!"

...that echoing in my ears, I woke up in shock from my day-dream! Oh.. what a great relief to wake up into reality. I was taken forty years ahead in time; just to remind myself how terrible I was twenty years ago! 


Caution: Danger across the border!

Have you heard this song, “It happens only in
….But no!!! It happens in China too..!!

I have seen China only in the world map, on the globe and yeah… through Bruce Lee as well! I have only heard of the Great Wall and all the Ling-Changs and Taang-Choos of our neighborhood who eat dogs and lizards without sparing even its brains and kidneys! And… it was unexpected; I got a chance to visit the other side of Himalayas to know the Chinkis better …and personally!

The wait is over; I landed with three of my colleague friends in
Beijing, the capital city of the China. To puke into social studies answer sheets, I have mugged up so much about this country. I have learnt about their civilizations, wars, politics, history, geography, economics, people… and what not?! But none I recollected when I stepped into China.

It did not take too long for us, to fall into the whirlpool of disasters and difficulties.

At the airport, I asked a Chinki brother who appeared to be very smart,
“Excuse me.. how far is Hotel Hilton from the airport? And are you aware where the “13th International Semiconductor Conference” is being held?”

He looked at me as if I was a transparent being. It took some time for him to reply,
“Chang choong cha.. xing loo laaa.”

“What the hell..!! Please don’t tell me, not a soul in the country understands English.” However, before facing the real problems, I judged myself to be the Shakespeare in China!!!

We came out of the airport to experience and feel the real
China. I could spot Nike and McD hoardings by its logo and color... otherwise it had only funny fonts which seemed like some mural art to me. Every single thing including the sign boards were written in Chinese. I hence concluded - English: China = Greek: India.

Finally we managed to get hold of a sensible
Chinki who became our savior! He translated these phrases into Chineese - “Way to the Hilton”, “Taxi Stand”, “Nearest Indian Restaurant”, “Police”, “Emergency”, “Hospital” and so on. Definitely these chits were then worth million dollars!! Those were the only things which gave us a sense of security. That is when I respected the people back home who give us good directions, “Saaaaar, go straight, big signal come, again go straight, small signal come, turn right….” I realize, those guys whom I thought are good only at lingering around leaning against the tea-kadai in Tamil Nadu and Karnataka are far better than any Chinki, any day!

The day before we were to get back is one of the most dramatic and unlucky days. By then, we were so sick and tired of the place that we were longing to get back to
India… to be an Indian in India! We vacated the hotel room, left our bags in the lobby and were waiting for the cab. All of us were busy clicking pics posing as Chiang Kai-shek and Hu-Jintao. In the mean time never had we (innocent lambs) realized one of our bags was stolen. And unfortunately, it happened to be mine :( ..And ask me what all I lost – my passport (of course the stupid Chinese Visa too), currency, office laptop and my favorite pairs of jeans and t-shirts!!!

Just one day I had – to sort out all my problems, come out of the mess and return to where I belong to. I cursed my stars and cried like a hungry baby for having to encounter the worst day in my life! Along with my belongings, I also lost all the hope and faith in the world. Despair was my only companion! I prayed with all my heart to Indian Gods and Chinese Gods to rescue me from the menace. I called my parents and husband and burst into tears. …how I missed them and how I wished to be with them!

Necessity being the mother of invention - I even tried to learn to write Chinese, with the help of the chits in hand. When I realized I am only being foolish, I gave up. But from somewhere or nowhere, I gathered the spirit, confidence and optimism and decided not to loose the battle! I fought like a brave Indian warrior against the traitorous Chinese. The Indian embassy in
China and my friends helped me sail through the misfortune and the next day, I found myself in India, my beloved land. Oh.. What a relief! 

We take care of ourselves the most when we are in our own country, ..when we are amidst
 the people we know! We do not trust anybody here. We fear they are thieves and attackers. But when we move out, we take things for granted assuring ourselves that we are out of danger. We do not see chances of being mislead. Hope my story is a lesson to every Indian who crosses the border. Expect the greatest danger while you are away…!

I whispered to myself, “
I love my country.. Vande Mataram!”        

It is a true story except, it was not me who was the unfortunate Indian in 
China; instead it was my colleague friend who had to undergo all the mental torture. I only tried putting myself in his shoes! 

Listening to him, I have decided - I will visit China only if 
1)      All the Chinese learn English or Malayalam 
2)      I learn Chinese. 

Do you see a possibility? ;)


Lemme reveal myself

-        I hail from God’s own country (ownership – awaiting confirmation!!). Some times, I am proud to say that; at times, I am not. Still I love my country.

-        My best non living friend is my camera. Hopefully, we will stick on to each other forever …and ever! 

-         I love week ends, but I hate them if I am to sit at home, cook, eat and sleep.

-         I speak bad Tamil, worst Hindi, horrible Kannada, okay English and laudable Malayalam.

-         I am in love with my new job. ….n when I remind myself about that, I think of Madam G!

-         Bollywood gossip interests me. I hate silly sentimental films, still I cry when I watch them.

-         I admire pretty girls and handsome guys.. and I pray my to-be-born kids should also be good looking, gorgeous, intelligent and witty!

-          I like French fries… and French kiss.. their movies too (with sub titles)!

-          I love the “gelf”.. no “The Gulf”. It has been my bread and butter for years.

-          I adore Shah Jahan. I envy Mumtaz Mahal. But, I have not seen “The Taj Mahal”.

-          “Chemistry” is the thing I hate the most in the world.. no; in the universe! I still get nightmares :( Maths drives me nuts. I don’t understand anything technical.

-          I love playing in the beach.. and in water! But I don’t know how to swim. I also hate to get drowned. …and I cry “Bachaaao…!!!”

-          When things fall apart, I force myself to believe, “Everything happens for ones own good”

-          I love recollecting stories from English text books. I think of my school very often.

-          Rain, Tea, “Murukku” in Kerala – How I miss the combination! :( I hate mosquito bites. I am dead scared of chicken pox, malaria and jaundice.

-          I love to be a part of intellectual conversations; though I prefer to be just a listener keeping my mouth shut. 

-          My heroes are Sachin Tendulkar and A.R. Rahman, ...and my dad! 

-          I have set a target for myself - When I die, I should have travelled to at least three places in every continent.

-          I am a great fan of Lord Krishna. I love to read and listen to his prankster tales. I love Krishna Bhajans too.

-          Some people get onto my nerves. I try to avoid them.

-          I love being in love!

-          Its difficult for me to stand cranky kids.. I hope.. mine would be different.

-          I am lazy to gym, run, jog and walk. Still I want to stay healthy, slim and trim! But I like sending emails :P

-          Give me a good read, I will not trouble you. I like Tom and Jerry; I like Tom better.

-          Vj hates chips and sandals. But I'm mad about all the 3 - Vj, chips and sandals! :)

-          Airplanes and internet amuses me. The former flies without touching anywhere; the latter works without any wires!

-          I am afraid of dogs.. I hate cats. I don’t like barking and biting dogs.

-          College days – I love to recollect those days. But never in life was I a dedicated student. I have friends from Tibet to Manipur to Delhi to Bombay to Mysore to Coimbatore to Trivandrum!    

-          I have extreme mood swings. I can get to the depths of despair and heights of ecstasy easily.

-          Disappointment comes easily to me, though I hate it. These days, I am trying hard to over come that.

-          All my good friends care for me a lot.

-          I talk to myself while taking bath.

-          I don’t like cooking; but Vj likes. That makes me smile!

-          I love smiling me. Most of the times, I love myself. At times, I don't. I am my greatest fan (cos I believe everyperson should be admired by at least one person!)

-          I argue with Vj; I fight with gul-gul. But I am protective about both.

-          I am very bad in giving directions. I lack geography sense, though my geography teacher is my favorite.

-          I am at my humorous best, when I am alone. That is when I think of the craziest things on earth.

-          I hate people loosing lives. I hate people loosing health. I hate people loosing happiness.

-          I hate MCPs. I hate FCPs as well..! ;)

-          I love myself in jeans and skirts. But it’s hard to pick one always – Either I don’t like it or it doesn’t fit me well.         

-          I am a cleanliness freak.. and so I irritate lot of people. Still I cannot help it!  

-          Wet toilet seats annoy me. Grrrr… That makes me furious!       

-          I love surprises (of course good ones!) But I rarely get any! :( I love gifts too (even if its not a surprise ;). 

-          My latest fascination is for writing and reading blogs. 

Did I make the right choice?

I was given few options.
(Since almost a year, I have been thinking hard to make the right pick!)

1) Bitter guard juice 
2) Sprouts smashed in celery syrup
3) I don’t even want to mention the rest as I feel they are venomous!

Finally, I chose the former forcing myself to believe that bitter is better.
I trust the vitamins and minerals in it.. which has promised to do wonders to my heart, skin and brain and help them stay fit and fine.

….just like we Indians declined “Lotus” and expressed faith in “Hand”!


E for English

When I joined my first job, I heard somebody shout across the aisle in office, “Lets rush for the WM.. I hope KD will approve SIP for Q4-06. Before that AR is on amending my MSR. I should admit this guy really made me feel so silly. Early in the morning, with an iron hammer he smacked hard at my ignorance. I got so annoyed at myself for not being able to figure out what he meant.

To please myself, I picked the phone and asked one of my friends, “Do u like PH or PC?” Surprisingly, she said, “None.. I like SB. Grrr… I asked, “Now, what the hell is that?” She said, “I am bored of Pizza Hut and Pizza Corner; ..now, all my love is for dosas from Saravana Bhavan!!”

At work, it took a while, for me to familiarize all the technical jargons.. and understand that not always people use these so called official-lingos and acronyms to enable easy conversation or to simplify things. I feel, most of the times, they only make it sound more complicated.

The guy who made me feel like a piece of shit, actually was asking his colleague to join the “Weekly Meeting” (which is not a big deal.. cos it is meant for everybody every week). He prays (cos may be he would have screwed it up) his boss, “Krish Dev” (not at all difficult for a Desi to call out) approves “Strategy in Place” drafted for 4th Quarter of 2006. Before he does that, “Action Required” is on correcting his “Monthly Status Report” (which of course he messed up!!!!).

So, what is your take on that? :)

Every damn thing in life comes at a price!

Yesterday, I knocked down my favorite crystal flower vase.. only to see it get scattered all over the place. I was so helpless that I had no choice but to look at it miserably with my mouth wide open! Irritated at myself, I gathered those tiny glass pieces in a plastic bag and dumped in the trash can.

How I wish.. if I could go back in time, rewind the course of actions, be little more watchful this time to save the vase! You know, I hate it when I can't get things fixed..!

Most of us run this stupid thought a hundred times for various reasons - Had I been not doing this I wouldn’t have lost that…! I have always wondered, instead of crucifying ourselves often regretting for the past; why not try to evade from later feeling sorry about it.

Most of the times, observing snobbish teenagers make me feel my heart suddenly stops pumping blood. Oh My God… They are crazy and act so weird! They might be fabulous at multi-tasking; however I find them absolutely lost! They have no hold on things which they pretend to master! They are in a mad rush to make themselves believe that nothing is impossible on earth. While in their teens or twenties, they want to achieve everything in life. But at the same time, prioritizing the choices is a tough task for them. Girl friends and dating might top the list of concerns for some; while for few others exams and studies will be of higher importance.

They follow their dreams and aspirations trying to re-discover their identity. They want to get rich, they want to own a big house, they want to become successful, they want to share their life with a dazzling partner, and they want everything in the world to be so “cool”; …although they take most of the things for granted. That is why I find these wild guys run cris-cross across Bangalore on their bikes at rocket speed, which makes me think, “Oh My God.. Why do they compel themselves to wail later?” Staying healthy, getting older or facing a diabetic tomorrow will be the last few things they worry about! They don’t consider life as a gift of God.. and they don’t value it at all. Perhaps they do not realize that there are lakhs of unfortunate people struggling to hold back their breadth for at least a day longer to spend few more extra hours with their loved ones!

Let me remind them once again; not everything in life can get fixed.

Does it sound like a philosophical ‘bhashan’ given after sunday mass at a church? A wacky reckless fellow tempted me to write this who banged an old man this morning who was trying to cross the road. This ruthless and shameless guy did not even show courtesy to stop by and help the poor man get up! Grrr…!!! Some people - How I hate them...!!!! 


To whom I owe all my happiness..

Long long ago, a tiny adorable creature was born, only to bring in bundle of joy to its parents. From a feeble little baby, she grew into a girl and then to a woman. Her dad gave his sweat and life to see the twinkle glowing in his daughter’s eyes always. Days flew; months flew; years flew… never he realized one day she will go far too ahead in life, to build her own world of happiness!

Feeling the warmth of her dad, 26 years has been a journey of joy; experiencing all the colors of life, ranging from black to white and red to violet. The little helpless thing once up on a time and the proud daughter of her dad is none other than me! :)

This piece of writing is for my Dad, only for my Dad, who means more than the world to me.. to let him know how much I adore him for what he is, for nurturing me to what I am today and for every little thing he has done over the years to brighten up my life!

As I am celebrating two years of togetherness with my husband, for all the happiness I enjoy… I only have all the love in the world to give you!

Your lil princess :)

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