Pre-marriage Queries (No Registration Charges)

Guess she believes I am a trusted qualm-shedder. Else I have no idea why she called me this morning. 

Man, I am so scared!
IUseless woman, please pool in some excitement. Believe me; getting married is not as bad as you think.
SheNot even a dosa I have ever made in my entire life; so how do you think it is gonna get exciting?
IOh, I thought you were worried for something else, for more obvious reasons ;)
SheShut up!
IInterested in some free; yet most useful advice to make your life more colorful and eventful?
SheI am all ears.
IGolden Rule: Don’t jump the gun!
I Don’t promise (when you don’t know what else to do) that you will make the world a better place overnight by making mouth-watering khoya paneer and chicken-101.
SheBut I thought to get into a man’s heart, the easiest and fastest way is through his taste buds! Is it really not?
I The faster you get inside, faster you will be thrown out too! …I mean ‘slow and steady wins the race’!
She – Oh My God, marriage is a race too?!
I - Idiot, if you serve him the best today, what will you do tomorrow? Mind you – there is no “bester”!
SheGirl, You have a point! I am discarding the idea of joining Mom’s cooking class.
IThere is no need to hurry honey, u have all the time in the world! Motivate him to say ‘babe… it will get better over time’. You see, ultimately the magic works when his tummy wails. He will be motivated enough to say, “Mein hoon na?” and will develop his own culinary expertise to finally master at it!
SheWow… now I think I am getting excited! Do you mind if I ask you something silly?
I Silly questions are more interesting to answer. Please go ahead…
SheLike in movies, have you ever sung a song and together danced to it? (She really asked me that!!!!)
I - Then, what are bathrooms for?
SheHuh?! Is your bathroom big enough for both of you to sing and dance?!
I – Lady… I have no more advice for you; instead once you become a wife I might need some from you!

Now, I am left puzzled! However guys... do you have any pre-marriage (vegetarian) tips to give my friend, who is getting married in a month?


Anonymous said...

Who is this SHE? Would be delighted to meet her in person to clear her doubts!


Abhilash said...

Nice one.

I have some suggestions for the ones who are going to marry.

1. Get extra workout and be fit because you are entering WWF 2(the Indian saas bahu WWF).

2. Try to laugh when you feel crying and cry when you feel laughing. You know why? because you will become similar to it in some days, so practicing is good.

3. Try preparing some bad food and see if it turns good. If no, then you are lucky because you have the ability to make things as they have to be.

4. Dont try a sati savitri role, trying to bath early in morning, puja path etc. because boys are not influenced these days with these tactics. Try another!

5. Dont try to imitate kathrina kaif. She does not know acting. You can use her for good looks but, looks never travel bodies.

These are some suggestions to keep in mind before marriage. Now a serious suggestion.

Try to forgive and be patient. That is the most important thing you have to remember. Rest all dheere dheere aa jayenga.

kochuthresiamma p .j said...

fun stuff

$$ said...

@ Preeth - 'She', a friend of mine demands anonymity; however u can post ur tips here :) :)

@ Abhilash - Wow.. this is a blog post in itself! :) Looks like you have earned a masters degree in 'running a family' :) Thanks!

@ Kochu Thresiamma - Welcome to my blog! ...n I like ur name! Feels like I am replying to KPAC Lalitha :) :)

anoop said...

pre-marriage suggestions to your friend:
1. keep the guy guessing but not in total mystery. he will find you irresistible.
2. control mood swings. guys dont have mood swings and seldom understand your mood swings too.
3. stop watching soaps. rarely do guys enjoy soaps, unless it has sleaze/action/investigative/sports in it.
4. last but most important - learn to accept and appreciate, as each individual is really unique in their own way and it takes time to uncover the many layers.

and... i'm not married so you can take my advice with a disclaimer.

Anonymous said...

As far as i'm told(by my ex- classmates and colleagues), the only one main difference after marriage is there initial will be changed

P.S : ask her to read magazines like cosmopolitan ,housekeeping if she is so worried :)

The Layman said...

I have advice ...
Enjoy being single while it lasts :P

$$ said...

@ Anoop - Single yet you talk with sense! ;)Hmmm... which means you are all set to mingle and be double! :) All the best! :) :)

@ anishthomas - My friend says, "Thanks for the 'technical' advice!" :)

@ The Layman - try being double; even that is exciting! :)

...and Thanks all - for posting your comments! :)

Shiva said...

"Silly questions are more interesting to answer. Please go ahead…"

"Interested in some free; yet most useful advice to make your life more colorful and eventful?"

So typical and sweet of you! :)

Pyari K said...


Your veggie tips were interesting and I was eager to read more!

Divya Rajiv said...

Cheersssss.....loved it!

Jeseem said...

yup I have a tip..
marriage.. run like hell :P

Jith Thomas said...

I – Golden Rule: Don’t jump the gun!
Oh..I thought it's non-veg till you explained it. Good for you. :-)

And for your friend (I better am a idiot to post this comment,as probably she is married by now), life don't have pre-marriage and post-marriage phases, try to be YOU. Don't pretend too much, as none of us are good actors and some day we will show our true colour.

Back to Top