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Condom Story of a Twentysomething Fool


Recently one of my friends suggested that I should look for an advertising job. That discussion led to sharing my ad film making experience with him. Before he adds masala and spreads fake story, as precaution, let me publish my version here :)

Rewind to college days.

As part of an Advertising assignment, we had to produce few video ads based on certain themes. Instead of choosing a familiar, uncomplicated and jovial subject, I decided to make an ad on condoms. Let the blame be on the age…the phase when kids go to any extent to prove their nonexistent intelligence without realizing how idiotic their actions are!

Coming back to my ad – the aim was to convey the importance of using condoms. Familiarizing the product being the first step in the process of film making, I decided to buy one. There were no super markets or upscale stores close to college, so the only place where I could get it was a medical shop near our hostel. I leaned against the counter, scanning the shop to find out where it was kept. When I saw a strip of Moods sachets hanging, I felt relieved and happy. The shopkeeper asked me, “Hmm? What do you need?” I said, “Vicks menthol”. Like a loser, I walked to my hostel room with useless menthol drops not knowing why I bought them.

To arrive at a quick solution, I shared my problem with my junior roommates. One of them, a micro biology student asked, “Akka… do you want one for male or female?” Before I could even say anything, the B.Com girl affirmed, “Yes yes…condoms are definitely not unisex”. 

Since the cyber café search histories were monitored diligently, I didn’t want to do any research on this misleading topic from the hostel. If you are wondering if there were no better ways, let me remind you...this happened during a time when mobile phones were not smart enough.

To help myself, I recalled all the sleazy portions from Mills and Boon and novels of Nora RobertsI realized that in fantasy, there are lots of necessary detailing that deserve attention and a condom holds least significance. The reader will definitely be annoyed if the author reminds the hero about taking precaution while he tries to slip his hands inside the heroine's blouse. Then I thought I would ask my pregnant sister to shower more gyan on the topic. But I did not want to take a chance with her unpredictable hormones. Pregnancy mood swings could cause lot of emotional damages, I have heard. I didn’t even want to ask my ‘always jump the gun’ cousin because I feared even before I finish explaining the project to her, I might get a call from my mother asking why I need a condom. 

Later when I remembered the “garb nirodhak goliya sirf mahilaoke liyeDoordarshan ad, I was convinced that I was right. I asked my roommates to consider learning zoology instead of biology and accounts, for future benefits. 

I went to the same shop again. With all the courage gathered and a straight face, I placed the order, “I need 3 condoms. Pink.”.
After a brief five seconds pause, he said, “I don’t have pink ones.
Me, “Any other color? Like…dark green, sky blue, lemon yellow?
He, “I only have white. Beta, color doesn't make any difference to how it works.
Me, “Okay…give me one white. And do you have colored balloons?
He, “I don’t sell it. But I warn you…don’t ever use balloons. Very dangerous!
I burst out laughing, couldn’t stop even after reaching my room.

Anyways, long story short…I made a very shitty ad with the things purchased. 


PS - Dedicated to the guy who initiated this post. Who's he? The one who closes loan deals worth million Dirhams almost everyday. Oru puli :D 

13 comments:

Anita Jeyan said...

OMG Now I cant stop laughing !!!! :D :D

Haddock said...

Ha ha like that .... don’t ever use balloons.
Would like to see the ad you made.

Vidya said...

😄😂aa ad evide??
Medical shop kaarante sense of humor kollaam!

Vidya said...

😄😂aa ad evide??
Medical shop kaarante sense of humor kollaam!

D.Nambiar said...

:D :D :D
Now that's a quick witted guy!

And that is an anecdote for-EVER!

Pink Mango Tree said...

:D :D :D

Pink Mango Tree said...

Better you don't see it. That's the lamest thing ever made by any human being ever!!

Pink Mango Tree said...

If you hear the storyline of that ad, I'm sure you will faint. It is that dumb!

Pink Mango Tree said...

Actually, he got the shock of his life. And would have thought some insane girl is going to use balloon in the wrong place :p :p

Pink Mango Tree said...

If you hear the storyline of that ad, I'm sure you will faint. It is that dumb!

Pink Mango Tree said...

Better you don't see it. That's the lamest thing ever made by any human being ever!!

Meety said...

Ahem.. I kinda guessed the loan dealer and I'd love to see the ad... After all we are partners in crime.. its my right to know!!

Dr.Raneesh.P Nambi said...

Ha Ha... nice to read, I Liked the narration (y)

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