The Great Indian Chutney Shower

I am a hard core south Indian. I take breakfast seriously. I mean, damn seriously. Haven’t you seen me relishing on dosa-sambar-pongal-upma-idly-vada-chutney-puttu-kadala?

Now, this post is about one of my infamous breakfast encounters. 

As usual, I was on my way to office one day, scrutinizing my fellow passengers in the bus - the same corporate folks who discuss the same Java and Oracle and relocation and America and cars and traffic and managers! So unexciting …to see the same monotonous faces daily! To make my time productive, I decided to make a to-do list for the day at work. But no… I couldn’t think of anything beyond my cube and my teammates. What was the distraction? The interrupting thought of the aroma of filter coffee in the cafeteria! “Forget work. First things first; so, let me elaborately plan today’s breakfast”, I decided. Thinking of the hot fluffy poori and the masala, I smiled to myself …wide!

As soon as I reached office, I marched to the cafeteria high spiritedly! There I met my friends, who also believe that the best way to start off a day is by making the tummy happy. As I was picking up my food from the counter ‘hello’-ing and ‘hi’-ing with colleagues standing in the queue, by mistake I dropped my tumbler splashing coriander chutney all over the floor! Oh Shit! I ‘sorry’-ied to the boy serving the food a thousand times and he kindly replaced my dish. 

Forgetfulness is bliss at times! Totally forgetting the commotion I created a few minutes ago, I thoroughly savored the food with my friends over jokes and gossips and pulling legs! 

It is now time for some serious stuff – work! I got into the elevator while two others whom I do not know joined. One of them was stinking and I felt embarrassed to close my nose in front of him. 

Me (in my mind): Why the hell can't people take a shower in the morning before coming to work? 
Stinking Guy: What a bad start…
Other Guy:  What happened? And why are you drenched?
Stinking Guy:  Early in the morning, somebody gave me a bath in chutney. It also got into my eyes that I couldn’t even see which moron did that. Bloody annoying, useless fellow! 

Shock, guilt, shame and nervousness sneaked in through my nerves and bones!

Me: Excuse me! 
Stinking Guy: Yes… (the other guy also turned at me)
Me: The bloody annoying useless person whom you just referred is me.
Both their eyes popping out: Excuse me, what?  
Me: I am so sorry; I didn’t know that I dropped it on somebody. I mean...I was the one who gave you the mint bath and I swear it was accidental.
Stinking Guy: Oh sorry! I didn’t mean it, you know! Huh, hmm…I was just talking in general…hope you understand - chutney on my shirt, eyes, everywhere…
Me: I am really really sorry! 

The elevator opened, it was their stop. Both of them gave me a smile and got out. I was still ‘sorry’ing!  

Heartfelt apology is a funny thing! Don’t you feel so?


Haree said...

Making mistakes is human, admitting it needs courage and apologizing it needs a good heart. :)

Abhilash said...

aha! I doubt you might have willingly spashed chutney on him ;) Might be an old revenge... kidding

It may happen sometimes... but then consider that it was their fate to be a victim of the act and just forget it.

I do so.. not always but yes.. sometimes :)

Taking about breakfast... mine starts with chapatis and sabzi...I had an ice cream few minutes ago... feeling full... :) You know Here we get an ice cream called rajadhani special with pinapple, corn flakes, pumpkin, cucumber, grapes, watermelon, cherry, strawberry, kismis, kaju and ice cream stuffs of strawberry, mango and vanilla... in three scoops... I have had a lot of fat for the day... Oh! I forget the actual topic.. I am like this always...

So what was the topic ... ok chutney and breakfast... I have a small breakfast and idli sometimes from an uduppi hotel I trust.. They give a hard chutney... Idli, half boiled sambar scarce with vegetables and kadak chutney... umm.. super taste ma...

Anyways was nice to read the article and about the stinking guy... hope he does not come with a sambar revenge... :)

RGB said...

You thought food was a great start. And that was the poor chutney-splattered guy's worst start, perhaps! But, I appreciate your act of confession and apologizing :)

Harish said...

You should have told him to thank God it was just chutney... what would have happened if it was piping hot sambar or coffee..?

$$ said...

@ Haree - Oh, that was a lovely comment! Thanks! :) :)

@ Abhilash - Hope so!!
And thanks; ur comment is a post in itself! :)

@ RGB - The saddest part was that I didn't realise it was splattered on somebody. And yes, poor guy had a stinking start at work.

@ Harish - hehe... then, I would have heard a loud cry and the scenario would have been so diffferent! :)


Anonymous said...

Ha ha, I remember this so well!!!!

good post!


Rohan said...

Good one!
Sadly I get to hav good breakfasts only wen Am at home. .
Sadly advantages of hostel like dosnt include good food!! :-(

Swaram said...

U make me wanna eat all that and mainly hv a filter kaapi nw ;)
Agree with haree :)

Seema said...

hahahahahha i just cant believe this our cafe & elevator pitty the poor stinking guy due to your kindness got a chutney bath today:)
Nice weekend yaar leave the guilt behind now you have got one more person in the campus who will hopefully smile next time you meet him.

Aishwarya V said...

good one :) poor victim! the next time you seem him along the corridor, he would smile an 'Oh, that chutney girl!'

Bikramjit said...

oh man i have missed so many of ur articles :( bad me

ok i smiled and had fun reading this the poor guy.. but i am glad you said sorry to them ...
its good to say sorry

Good one :) and hey glad you had fun eating all that foood .

Bikram's Question time

Meety said...

Well... if you can make Puttu missile then why not Chutney shower?? ;-)

Shiva said...

I was in a really bad mood and reading this brought a smile :)

Pythoroshan said...

hehe... seriously ? Chutney showers !!! You better be careful... If I were him, I'd be planning revenge.

sujata said...

first time here, and loved the blog. Hope to come in more often. Breakfast is really a good start, and owning up to an act is also a super start!!

Nona said...

So sorry to read about it!

Anonymous said...

"‘hello’-ing and ‘hi’-ing with colleagues" - loved the usage.
And it is a cool post.


$$ said...

@ G3 – glad that u were not in the vicinity when the accident occurred! :)

@ Rohan – bad food is def a disadvantage; but it is worth the life in a hostel!

@ Swaram – filter coffee… hmmm; how I love it! :)

@ Seema – haven’t seen him after that; mey be he has stopped coming to the café! ;)

@ Aishwarya – In that case, I would have showered something else to get a better name! ;) ;)

@ Bikram – most of the time, I have fun while eating… irrespective of where!!!

@ Meety – This is not a forum to reveal my culinary secrets! ;)

@ Shiva – on that case, my mission accomplished! And I don’t regret writing these silly posts!

@ Roshan – Wow; I am glad that u were not the one on whom I showered the chutney!

@ Sujata – Excitedly, I welcome you to my blog! :)

@ Nona - :P :P

@ Preeth – and I loved ur comment!

dr.antony said...

Oh..no.. I think it would be OK,the chutney smell..What kind of chutney was that to stink that way?Fire the cook, so you can spill better chutneys.

Destiny's child... said...

*Pat on your back*
I am glad you admitted your mistake, no accidental mistake :)

$$ said...

@ dr.antony - The chutney was good actually; I am also wondering abt the smell! ;)

@ Destiny's child - Thank You! **Shake Hands**

sandeep said...

ha ha ha ... u do have some guts to confess and apologize :)

Nacha said...

Ha ha - i remember that!! :) Was this chutney shower version-2 or the same one that I was once witness to? :) The day i first met you, I think. ;)

Haddock said...

Thats great !!
You had the courage and guts to admit the mistake !!!

anoop said...

heartfelt apology is rare these days, believe me! ppl get anger faster than humility.

sajinrp said...

yet another accident story of urs !

blunt edges said...

LOL!! You actually confessed?!?! I would have just kept quiet if I were in your shoes! Yeah I'm a hypocrite, sue me :P

$$ said...

@ Sandeep – No no… in that situation, anybody would have done that; I am sure!

@ Nacha – Oh no! I did not dare to repeat the exercise again! This happened on the same day, when we met for the first time!

@ Haddock - :)

@ Anoop – Indeed; most people are angry-young-men-&-women!

@ Sajin – one more…

@ blunt edges – try to accidently shower chutney or sambar on somebody; I am sure, if caught in a situation similar to mine, you will also confess! And most important – blog your experience! :P

hp said...

Get a life doll..
i was told by someone very special to check this blog.. These are her comments "i love reading them
you know....just by chance i happened to read a mallu gals blog..........but i love reading it now......she is shalini surendran.........
she writing is very simple and charming

Personally i dont care and just wasted around 10 mins of my life..

$$ said...

Thanks a lot HP...!! How I love your frankness! :) :)

And thanks to your friend too, whjo suggested you to check out my blog!

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