19

Inappropriate


I packed my bags and started for Amritsar from Bangalore, for official reasons. Of all the places in the country, Amritsar! Why couldn’t Punjab be in South India; in Karnataka, Tamil Nadu or at least near Mumbai? Who the hell has placed Punjab there, even beyond Haryana? 
This trip will not let me watch me son perform on stage for the first time as Spiderman :( The sacrifices made in life just for the salary credit at the month end is indeed big! 

Totally disliking the trip, I boarded the flight and forced myself to sleep, turning on the “Do not disturb” panel. In fact, I meantDare not to trouble me; I'm in a very bad mood!” 

I woke up listening to the chaos in the air craft. Gentle men and women were seen very grumpy; they seemed to be not so gentle. They were constantly murmuring; but nothing made sense to me. Suddenly I heard,
 “Ting Tong… Dear passengers, Kripaya dyan deejiyee. We are landing into New Delhi airport in few minutes” “Huh? Holy Cow… Did I board the wrong train, I mean flight…!! What am I to do now?! …Madam continues, “This is due to some technical problems and we shall resume our journey to Amritsar in a short while. Hope you are enjoying your flight. Dhanyavaad

Oh no; I hate this! I knew something bad would happen, cos the first guy I saw this morning was George Bush! Newspaper could have had Mahatma Gandhi or at least Julia Roberts instead. In the next 45 minutes, I could only find faults with everything. There was this little baby crying; I felt like sealing its mouth with a milk bottle. I got even more irritated when I saw its mother who instead of finding means to lower the volume of her baby was merrily blabbering non sense over the phone. There were people cribbing about hunger, unclean aircraft restroom, laptop and mobiles running out of power, delayed meetings, weddings going unattended, and so on. However, I felt mine was the biggest of all the problems, “I couldn’t get photographed with my son on his first ever fancy dress competition” 

People shut their mouth when the aircraft started flying again. The most looked at thing was the watch for the next few minutes. “Ting Tong…” She cleared her throat and announced, “Dearest passengers, Welcome to Jaipur. We had almost reached Amritsar when we realized that for the next two hours the place is still technically unfit for landing. Hence we are here, in the Pink City of India. Hope you are enjoying your flight. Dhanyavaad.”

Aree re are ye kya hua…” I started singing to myself. That is the mantra to control my anger and frustration. I also started consoling myself, “This is not the worst[ the flight could have been hijacked. God saved; that did not happen!” 

“Tring Tring…” My mobile rang.

“Hello, Am I speaking to Priyanka?”
“Yes… Who is this?”
How you doing?”
“I am good. Grrrr Who is this?”
“I'm from Employee Communications Team. We have already exchanged couple of emails. Since I did not see a reply from you, thought I shall get it done over the phone”.
“Can we speak…”
”My questions are not technical, for a change. So, I'm sure you'd love to answer them!”
“But I am…”
“Alright… here I go. To warm up, let me start off with easy ones.
“errr…”
“Which is your favorite holiday destination?”
Hell… Here I am stuck in this stupid aircraft for hours and somebody wants to know where I wanna go holidaying! “Pass…”
“Oops, ‘Pass’ is not an option. There should be at least one dream destination, right?
“Shall I answer it at the end?”
“Fine. Tell me, how is it for both of you, I mean for you and Bharath to work for the same company?”
“There is nothing fancy about working in the same company”
“Isn’t it lovely to be with your husband even at work?”
“Give me a break…”
“Oops, by the way, are you free to talk? Sorry; forgot to ask you that. 
“Shall I call you back? I don't think my brain is working now”


This is my colleague's story who had a very unpleasant travel experience. 
...and I was the one who asked her in the middle of all the mess, “How romantic is it, to go to work daily with your husband?”




19 comments:

Shiva said...

The use of colors to capture what people think - that is one of the high points of your posts and again used to good impact here. You come very close to 'Stream of consciousness' style in many of your posts. Keep rocking.

"I got even more irritated when I saw its mother who instead of finding means to lower the volume of her baby was merrily blabbering non sense over the phone" - this was the best line, only you can think of "lowering" a baby's volume! :)

Pyari K said...

cos the first guy I saw this morning was George Bush, wickedly smiling at me! Newspaper could have had Mahatma Gandhi or at least Julia Roberts instead!

I just loved that one!

Btw, sending you a separate e-mail too.. :)

dannie said...

:D shal woman. good to know you're still mad as wever

$$ said...

@ Shiva - Thanks a ton!

@ Pyari - Thanks, ...n reply is also sent separately! ;)

@ Dann - Oh, that is a typical Dannie comment! I was in fact perfect until I met u! I am sure u cannot deny! ;) ;)

Swaram said...

LOL .. got my dose of laughter ;) Thank u :)

Anonymous said...

Shalu,
How do you lower a crying Babys volume? Pray tell me... i can put it to good use... :-P
Great post babe..... Way to go.........

anishthomas said...

lol...good one :)

$$ said...

@ Swarnam - I am smiling widely at you!!! :)

@ Anonymous - I am curious to know who this is!!
Didn't u notice a volume button just below the baby's bums? I guess when the baby crosses 100 cms in height, the button will get erased off! :P

@ Anish - Thank You! :) :)

Anonymous said...

Oh... you rock lady...!!!
I would have loved to see your colleague's expression when she was speaking to you!
Amazingly narrated, loved it.

-Preeth

lostworld said...

After all that ranting about CSP, I was convinced (till the end) that you managed to "produce" a kid out of thin air just to shut people up!!;-D

Nice Shalini, you girl with the 'twisted' mind!Wink.

Ammu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ammu said...

Woh shalini......u imagined yourself as a mom of a kid who is having a fancy dress competition at school!!!! Is Vijay listening?? *wink*wink*

The baby volume line is indeed hilarious!!

et said...

Aww.. IMAGINATION!

$$ said...

@ Preeth - Thank You! :)

@ Lost World - 'kid out of thin air' - heheh..!! Gynec wards in the hospitals wud go empty!!! I don't think it will be encouraged anywhere! ;)

@ Ammu - I was forced to imagine! Ahem ahem.. "compulsive imagination!' :)

@ ET - ;) ;) ;)

Dr Roshan R said...

Do you find Amrita mysteriously avoiding your phone calls these days ? :D

Anonymous said...

Well, Anonymous ! is ME.....
I have a baby boy who is your first boy friend and i havent seen a volume button on him...... :-P

Shalini Surendran said...

@ Roshan - I did not dare to call her after that. ...n if we happen to cross each other, I fiddle with my mobile, u see obvious reasons! :)

@ Anonymous a.k.a Vidya - Addu Darling's mommy!

Dr Roshan R said...

hehe.. that sounds exactly like me and the kind of situations i frequently land up in

Aswin said...

Now, why would you do that? :)

*Random visitor*

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